• Gain credibility and trust by being flexible and available for discussions and questions.
• Offer guidance in an animated and enthusiastic manner.
• Give her a broad overview of what you are suggesting and emphasize how trying this out can make school more exciting and interesting.
• Express information imaginatively so Angela will best hear you.
• Don’t underestimate the importance of developing rapport with Angela, relationships are how she learns best. Act as a caring sounding board so that she can feel comfortable being herself around you – what she wants most is to understand ideas in terms of how they can help her and others be better people.

• Engaging in independent study and preparing written reports instead of group discussions and oral presentations.
• Hearing about details and specifics first instead of listening to topics described in big picture terms.
• Running statistics or analyzing data instead of building social connections and people skills.
• Setting benchmarks and scheduling appointments to monitor understanding and progress instead of free-flowing course goals and ad-hoc get-togethers to strengthen learning.

• Tell Angela that when people are feeling confused on any topic, it can affect their experience of school even if their problems aren’t directly related to their coursework. At such times, people tend to seek clarity in different ways.
• To help Angela gain perspective, have a discussion with her where you support her in drawing on her natural style of reasoning by asking "What thing promises the most excitement?"
• Reassure Angela that the point is not to have the perfect answer, but instead to free up her thinking and start a conversation about options.
• If Angela is really stuck, you may want to try asking her this stretch question designed to shake up her typical approach to unraveling confusing or difficult issues: "What have others done successfully in your situation and what has the most traditional backing?"
• Help Angela get the most out of the stretch question above (especially if she has trouble with it) by explaining that “This question is actually one that some people – people quite different from you – would naturally ask themselves, so it’s totally normal that it might seem foreign to you, or, for you to feel that it is not even a valid question to consider. So, while it probably feels a bit awkward, being willing to think about this question and trying to look at things from another’s vantage point, might just turn out to be a useful and important way expand your thinking.”
• Use this as an opportunity to encourage Angela to stay curious about the methods others use to learn and grow when faced with something confusing or difficult. Even when these methods don’t match hers, she may be surprised at what she discovers, even if all she discovers is how not to do things.

• Caution Angela not to assume that her typical ability to wing it with any person, on any subject, is enough – preparation and thoughtfulness are important and can make a star performer stand out even more.
• Remind Angela to watch her tendency to jump head first into new activities without considering if this is practical or sensible given her existing commitments and busy schedule.
• Challenge Angela to balance her desire to seek interesting experiences with attention to what’s best for her on a day-to-day basis. Self-care in terms of diet, exercise, rest, etc. provides a healthy foundation upon which to pursue even more exciting experiences.
• Help Angela leverage her natural desire to want to be in harmony with others by recognizing that it’s more thoughtful to check on how realistically possible something is before agreeing to it and/or encouraging others to participate.

• Encourage Angela to pause to allow her normal gift of can-do optimism to re-emerge before trying to analyze the conflict.
• Suggest that Angela process out loud and record her ideas on paper, whiteboard, or an electronic device preferably with a friend or colleague to help her reflect on the causes of the conflict.
• Remind Angela that connecting concrete facts with people’s feelings is crucial for a full understanding of why conflict occurred and figuring out which solutions are the most practical as well as inspiring.
• Help Angela to resist setting aside her personal values during conflict in order to secure the approval of others during conflict.
• Her input may be just what’s needed to steer conflict resolution in a more caring and people-centered direction.

Believing what’s new is always better

• Tell Angela “Not everyone approaches new ideas with gusto.”
• Have a discussion with Angela to explore how her willingness to embrace almost any solution as long as it’s unique or different can be seen by others as fickle.
• Explain that “If you want others to take the risk of doing things differently, it’s important to make it clear that they can rely on you to follow through consistently on your commitments on big issues.”

Deflecting discomfort through constant activity

• Tell Angela “No matter how busy you try to keep yourself, negative feelings will linger until explored.”
• Have a discussion with Angela to explore how persistently pursuing entertainment or distraction can make conflict worse because it gets in the way of taking a closer look at what’s not working and allows problems to fester.
• Explain that “Many people use nonstop activity as a way to suppress feelings of insecurity or emotional distress that arise during conflict.”

Struggling with constraints

• Tell Angela “Rules are designed to ensure consistency and fairness in how people are treated.”
• Have a discussion with Angela to explore how many people equate breaking the rules with a lack of respect for the individuals, organizations or groups who established them and are therefore less likely to respect the rule-breaker.
• Explain that “Insisting that your situation is so unique that you should be allowed to ignore official structures and procedures can appear entitled and further inflame conflict.”

• Get advice from others on where to start exploring a breadth of career options that she would find rewarding.
• Look at her dreams, hunches, and off-the-wall ideas for clues about which career options to consider more deeply.
• Ask herself whether the possible career choices she has identified feel right.
• Respond to new information, chance meetings, or spontaneous opportunities that keep her career search fresh.

• Do people in this field value conversation, group work, and action?
• Do people in this field value imagination, insight, and reaching toward an ideal future?
• Do people in this field value warmth, appreciation, and relationships?
• Do people in this field value freedom, adaptability, and openness?

Angela's likely core values include:

For maximum job satisfaction and success, her job and her work environment should align with her core values. The list below represents common core values for her personality type.

• Harmonious, caring relationships
• Strong personal relationships
• Cooperative and empathetic relationships
• Personal growth
• Self-actualization
• Integrity
• Having a unique identity
• Originality
• Creativity
• Minimal tension
• Rewards and recognition are for helping people and achieving one's full potential
• Work must have meaning that is aligned with one's values
• Search for the meaning of existence
• Altruistic, benevolent towards others
• Being authentic and genuine
• Being enthusiastic
• Possibilities

Preference for Extraversion

The opposite is called Introversion

Your Strengths:

• Energised by the outer world
• Talk, think, talk
• Action
• Breadth

This means you typically look like this to other people:

• Talk a lot – and often loud and fast. Respond quickly.
• Process out loud so others tend to know what they are thinking. Develop ideas through discussion.
• Interrupt when you are speaking – seem eager or impatient.
• Discuss a variety of subjects at the same time and move quickly from one topic to the next.
• Pay attention to the external world – get distracted easily.
• Use body language, gesticulate and share their energy outwardly.
• Take initiative in making contact with other people – use eye contact, small talk, often start a conversation.
• Push to get started right away – action oriented. Do not need much reflection time. “Shoot from the hip”.
• Contribute enthusiastically when working in groups. Want to learn new tasks by talking and doing.
• Have a broad social network and a variety of interests.
• Do not seem to mind interruptions when working.
• Prefer spoken communication rather than written communication when they are free to choose.

This means your opposite typically looks like this to other people:

• Listen more than they talk – and often speak calmly. Talk more in one-on-one situations.
• Process internally – when talking, they most often only convey the essence/conclusion of their chain of thought.
• Pause in the conversation – and shut down if you interrupt them. May seem withholding.
• Talk in-depth about one subject before moving to the next.
• Sustain concentration and focus for long, and they may seem like they are in their own world.
• Calm body language – seem reserved.
• Limit social interaction with other people to what is “necessary”.
• Seem cautious and hesitant – they need time to reflect before acting.
• Enjoy working alone and like quiet surroundings. Want to learn new tasks by reading and reflecting.
• Have few but close relationships and explore interests in-depth.
• Seem to be disturbed by interruptions when working
• Prefer written communication rather than spoken communication when they are free to choose.

Areas for development that are typical challenges:

• LISTEN MORE

  Ways to develop:

  
  “Listen-more-day” – Plan a “listen-more-day”. Reflect. Say only something when necessary. Give others time to answer and find peace in silence. Pause at least ten seconds longer than you normally would before you say something. Note what happens with the dynamics in the conversation.
  Do not interrupt – For one day focus on not interrupting. Let people finish talking. Do not interrupt in the middle of an argument. Stop yourself if you accidently do it anyway. Get feedback from other people on how being interrupted affects them.
  Listen to understand – Pick out a planned conversation. Listen to what the other person is saying. Practice staying attentive to his or her inputs rather than thinking of what you will say in response. Listen to the other person's point of view and describe what you heard before you allow yourself to talk about your perception and point of view.

• INNER PEACE

  Ways to develop:

  
  Find peace of mind – Take lessons in meditation, breathing techniques or mindfulness. Practice. Set aside time each day or week to visit your inner world. Learn to feel comfortable in your own thoughts and feelings.
  Spend time alone – Say “no” to a social activity or event you would normally say yes to. Make a list of things you like doing alone and do this instead. If you need inspiration, ask a friend who prefers I.
  Clarify thoughts alone – Reflect on the importance of an experience or an event by yourself. Contemplate impressions by yourself. Make an important decision alone. Practice clarifying your thought without speaking to others.

• DEPTH AND FOCUS

  Ways to develop:

  
  Seek depth in conversation – Pick out a person at a social event and talk in depth about a subject one-on-one. Everyone has something they are better at than you or an interest in something you do not know about. Find out what it is and let them be the ones that talk the most.
  Examine in dept – Identify various subjects that interest you. Instead of breadth go into depth with one of the subjects. Allow more time than you think is necessary. Be patient and "look for the nuances."
  Create a framework for focus – Pick out a task to work on alone. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Plan your breaks and stick to them. Control your craving for variation. If you feel the urge to talk, talk to yourself.

• REFLECTION

  Ways to develop:

  
  Communicate in writing – Resist the temptation to choose verbal communication just because it is possible. Pick out three situations during the coming week where you would normally meet with or call a person and communicate in writing instead.
  Think before you speak – Think through what you want to say and what your opinion is before you start talking. Consider writing down your thoughts, summarise and only convey the “essence” of what needs to be said.
  Reflect before acting – Do not accept or engage in activities you would normally throw yourself into. Turn your thoughts inward and reflect whether it is the right thing to do as well as whether it is the right time and place.

Preference for Intuition

The opposite is called Sensing

Your Strengths:

• Future
• The big picture
• Visionary
• The sixth sense

This means you typically look like this to other people:

• Talk about opportunities, new ideas, concepts, patterns, visions and coherences – “what could be”.
• Present the big picture first. Talk in general and abstract terms – use metaphors and speak figuratively.
• Refer to things as being “intuitively correct” or that something “could theoretically work”.
• Ask for the underlying ”meaning” and the context of an issue. The overall purpose.
• Appear to lose interest if too many details are presented in a story.
• Often say “Imagine that…”. Point out if something is unambitious and want to think big.
• Begin their story at the end and articulate the totality, skip around easily in the story and may miss some parts. Intuitive hunches.
• Interested in new ideas and new solutions – because they are new. Talk about changing things – not just improving them.
• Quickly become enthusiastic about a new idea. Trust their intuition and theories.
• Seem reluctant to do the same thing twice and follow a routine unless they have to – prefer to do it in a new way.
• Seem more engaged when a task requires a new and creative approach.
• Do not ask for instructions when assigned a new task – want to solve it in their own way

This means your opposite typically looks like this to other people:

• Talk about real life, people they know, things that have happened or will happen, the here and now – ”what is”.
• Present the facts first. Talk in precise terms, use detailed descriptions, similes. Have a straightforward speech pattern. Speak literally.
• Refer to common sense and experience and what is feasible.
• Ask about the facts and details of a case/situation.
• Appear to lose interest if it gets too hypothetical and airy fairy.
• Down-to-earth. Point out if something is unpractical or unrealistic.
• Start their story at the beginning and build it in a linear fashion, step by step. Explain in detail.
• Seek practical and efficient solutions. Talk about improving things – not changing them.
• Unlikely to embrace new ideas unless they are grounded in reality – they will ask questions about ”how”. Trust tangible data and facts.
• Seem reluctant to change the tried and tested unless it is necessary – refer to what works.
• Seem more engaged when a task requires skills already learned.
• Ask about “what” and “how” when assigned a new task – would like to know the established way before deciding how to tackle it.

Areas for development that are typical challenges:

• FOCUS ON WHAT IS

  Ways to develop:

  
  "Sensing-day" – Plan a "sensing-day". Use your five senses for a whole day and focus on the real, the tangible, the observable. Note the details of real life. Be present in the moment and not in the future.
  Stick to the issue – Pick out three conversations you have planned. During the conversation, focus 100% on the subject you are discussing. Push away any associations and do not interpret and “read between the lines”.
  Facts – Read a short article or a memo, or ask a person who prefers S to tell you a story. Afterwards, write down the facts that were given. Crosscheck to see how accurate you were in retaining facts and not making inferences about the facts.

• PARTICULARS

  Ways to develop:

  
  Focus on the details – Proofread this card (or something else) in detail. Read from the the bottom to the top, right to left, word by word. (Did you spot the error in the second line?)
  Practice the details – Buy a big puzzle and use at least 20 minutes a day to put it together. Or develop a hobby that requires attention to detail such as knitting from a given pattern, cooking following the recipe closely or painting by numbers.
  Follow the instructions – Practice reading and following step by step instructions. Follow an instruction manual at work, install and learn a new computer program or assemble a piece of LEGO or a piece of furniture from IKEA. Do things in the way shown in the instructions. Resist the urge to do it your own way or jump around.

• REALISTIC AND CONCRETE

  Ways to develop:

  
  Be realistic – Brainstorm and write down your ten best ideas. Pick out two or three ideas and write down how they could be implemented. Use facts to support the usefulness of the ideas. Are they realistic? Introduce the ideas to a person who prefers S. Request feedback.
  Be concrete – Tell someone a story or tell about your day at work. Tell in a straightforward way what happened and communicate chronologically and in detail. Use literally concrete words. Avoid metaphors. If you use a figurative statement, convert it to a literal statement.
  Task breakdown – Pick out a big task and break it down into small tasks. Write down. Make each task specific, actionable and in succession. Estimate how long time each task will take. Start from the beginning and finish each task before moving on to the next.

• RESPECT WHAT IS

  Ways to develop:

  
  Resist the urge for change – Next time you notice something that needs changing, write down what is currently working. Avoid changes and "improvements" if there is no compelling reason to initiate them. Focus on only changing what is necessary.
  Use routines – Make a note of what you do in the morning before leaving for work. How much of this is routine? Does having a routine make the mornings less complicated? Write down three different activities you do every day where implementing a routine would make life easier. Implement.
  Use experience – Pick out a task or assignment to be performed at work or at home. Resist the urge to do it in a new and different way. Examine carefully how you or others have solved similar tasks before. Identify the hands-on experience that might be and apply the proven method. Reflect on the efficiency.

Preference for Feeling

The opposite is called Thinking

Your Strengths:

• Values
• People centred
• Harmony
• Compassion

This means you typically look like this to other people:

• Highlight areas of agreement. Try to establish harmony and concensus.
• Often avoid conflicts, withdraw from discussions or try to “smooth things out”. May become uncharacteristically direct if values are violated.
• Seem uncomfortable pointing out errors and receiving critical feedback. May seem touchy and take things personally.
• Naturally tuned in to people’s feelings and soften their language.
• Want to know and understand personal standpoints. Cooperate rather than compete.
• Accept decisions based on values and personal motivations.
• Focus on people. Help people by showing concern for their needs.
• Argue for what they believe is ”right or wrong” and what is ”good or bad”.
• Talk about the “best solution” for the people involved and refer to core values.
• Give compliments and express their appreciation to others easily. Often give praise – both for results and effort.
• Use values and the needs of other people as a foundation for their opinions. Distrust decisions based solely on “cold insensitive logic”.
• Seem accommodating and empathic (and may sometimes seem evasive and soft).

This means your opposite typically looks like this to other people:

• Tend to first notice and deal with points of disagreement. Go “head on”. Focus on efficiency.
• Comfortable with arguing and have no hard feelings afterwards.
• Generally quick to tell others where they need to improve. Are “totally truthful” and may forget the diplomat.
• Direct when communicating and may seem tough-minded and critical.
• Assess others’ competence by asking challenging questions. Seem to like competition.
• Ask ”why” and search for logical coherence. May unwittingly hurt the feelings of others.
• Focus on problem solving. Offer objective advice to help. ”Mr. Fix-it.”
• Argue for what they believe is logical – and often present a lot of arguments.
• Talk about the objectively speaking ”right solution” and refer to analyses, the pros and cons, fairness and consistency.
• Ungenerous with their compliments. Recognise results but rarely praise effort.
• Use objective principles and a logic-centred approach as a foundation for their opinions. Distrust decisions based solely on “illogical feelings”.
• Seem task centred and business-like (and may sometimes seem cold and impersonal).

Areas for development that are typical challenges:

• DIRECT SPEECH

  Ways to develop:

  
  "Direct-speech day" – Plan a "direct-speech day" where you practice expressing yourself clearly about what you want. Avoid sugarcoating. Stand firm, even though others might disagree.
  Map your communication style – Identify situations through your life where your communication style has been too indirect and led to confusion and irritation. Consider how you can minimise the negative impact of your communication style in the future. Practice.
  Give critical feedback – Next time someone presents you with a possible solution to a problem, tell them which problems and flaws you see. Communicate clearly – do not apologise. Remind yourself that people can recover from hurt feelings, and that a bad decision or a task solved poorly can be much more harmful to them.

• OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS

  Ways to develop:

  
  Be objective – Review a problem you have. Analyse to determine the cause of the problem and think of four possible ways you could take to solve the problem. List the consequences of each course of action. What are the pros and cons? Is the decision consistent with past decisions, and is it a reasonable precedent to set for future decisions?
  Articulate "why" – Identify three decisions you have made recently. Logic shows the relationship between premises and conclusions – were the decisions logical? Analyse. Practice articulating "why" with focus on the underlying premises.
  Uncover the logic – Pick out a conversation with others about an important topic/decision – focus on determining the underlying premises that are driving their reasoning. Ask questions until you find the arguments and conclusions are logically related.

• DRAW THE LINE

  Ways to develop:

  
  Standard answers – Define three standard answers you can use in situations where you find it hard to say no. For example "That date sounds familiar. I need to check my calendar and get back to you." This gives you time to "prepare" your no.
  Debate with yourself – Identify three situations in which you failed to draw the line – where you said yes instead of no. What were your thoughts and feelings? Write down what you were afraid would happen if you said no. Is there an objective reason for thinking that would happen?
  Say no – Identify three typical situations where you find it hard to say no to others. Agree with yourself to say no the next time they occur – even though others may be disappointed. Accept the discomfort. Note how the other person reacts. If possible, request the other person's feedback on your "no".

• "TOUGH SKIN"

  Ways to develop:

  
  Take yourself out of the equation – Identify an episode where you felt offended by something someone said to you. Consider which underlying premises may serve as a logical explanation for the remarks. Note how this review of the premises can change your emotional response to the episode.
  Ask for objective feedback – Request objective feedback on a task you have solved. Prepare for critique. Listen with an open mind. Ask clarifying questions and ask for examples. Consider soberly what you want to do with the feedback. Could it actually make your problem solving better?
  Compartmentalise – Think of the methods you use to separate a problem in your personal life from your work life (or the other way around). Apply those methods to other components of your life. Does it make life easier by logically compartmentalising parts of your life from each other?

Preference for Perceiving

The opposite is called Judging

Your Strengths:

• Freedom
• Process
• Flexibility
• Just in time

This means you typically look like this to other people:

• Combine work and play – seem open and informal.
• Flexible and sometimes inattentive when it comes to time, meetings and tasks. Usually see organising as unnecessary and limiting.
• Do not make many plans and deviate from the ones they do make – reopen agreements and decisions. Are good at adapting.
• Articulate frustration about rigid structures and too many rules and regulations. Seek freedom and flexibility in order to be able to take advantage of unexpected opportunities.
• Postpone decisions for as long as possible. “It’s ages from now.”
• Are most enthusiastic at the beginning of a project and want to try out several different approaches.
• When asked for their opinion, they will typically delay offering an opinion and will ask questions to get more information.
• Tend to make statements that end with a question mark – indicating their open-ended approach to life? Easily change their mind.
• Do not ”organise” work and living spaces. Leave things in the open so they can easily find them.
• Appear as if they have lots of time, go with the flow, relaxed.
• Often wait until the deadline gets closer to work on a task. Often say they work more efficiently under time pressure.
• Time optimists – do not always arrive on time and deliver just in time.

This means your opposite typically looks like this to other people:

• Have a clear distinction between work and play – seem serious and decisive.
• Organised. Use lists, a calendar and systems to keep track of time, meetings, tasks and appointments (and take pleasure in using them).
• Set goals, make plans and follow them. Express resentment about changing a plan or a decision.
• Articulate frustration when experiencing too many ”loose ends”. Want predictability and matters settled.
• Prefer to make decisions quickly – and want others to do the same. ”We might as well make a decision now.”
• Most enthusiastic in the completion phase of a project.
• When asked for their opinion, they will typically answer quickly – often without asking clarifying questions.
• Tend to make statements that end with an exclamation mark! Do not easily change their mind.
• Have visibly organised work and living spaces. Put things away so they can easily find them.
• Seem in a hurry – walk fast and focus on being effective.
• Work at a steady pace until the submission of assignments.
• Arrive on time and deliver on time – or sooner – and expect that others do the same.

Areas for development that are typical challenges:

• STRUCTURE

  Ways to develop:

  
  Get it under control – Manage your tasks, appointments and obligations. Write everything down in your calendar and create a to do list. Set as a goal for the coming week to arrive at meetings and deliver input in good time. Begin working on your tasks right away. Do not postpone.
  Schedule – Make a plan for the next day before leaving work. What would you like to achieve? Write it down. Estimate how long time each task will take and make an order of priority. Develop a plan for the coming week. Estimate. Prioritise. Follow the plan. Evaluate by the end of the week what went well and what can be done better. What are the benefits of planning?
  Get tools – Take a training course on personal effectiveness. Learn the basic planning tools. Integrate them into your life in a way that fits your lifestyle.

• ORDER

  Ways to develop:

  
  Follow the rules – Sharpen your awareness of rules/procedures. Follow the rules for a week – in all aspects. Stay within the limits. If you want to do something that is not in accordance with the rules, ask for permission – not forgiveness.
  Ask for feedback – Ask your family, colleagues and friends how it affects them when you are oblivious about time or agreements or are always working close to the deadline. Do they have concrete examples? What impression does it make on you?
  Tidy up – Plan a tidy-up day at home and at work. Tidy up your home and your office following the motto "Everything has to stay in its own place!". Create order. Organise so it is easy to find things.

• CLOSURE

  Ways to develop:

  
  "Focus-day" – Plan a "focus-day". Complete all the tasks you have decided on getting done one at a time. Do not jump around by working on several tasks at the same time. Every time you think "There is plenty of time to ..." stop and reflect if you do actually have the time. Practice being a time realist.
  Complete the task in good time – Pick out a major task. Finish the work at least four hours ahead of the deadline, then come back after two hours to see if you can improve it.
  Sow before you reap – Adhere to the saying "you have to sow, before you can reap." For a week, force yourself to get all duties done. "Work before play". What are the benefits?

• DECIDE

  Ways to develop:

  
  "J-day" – Plan a "J-day". Practice forming an opinion swiftly about absolutely everything – anytime and anywhere. Write down pros and cons of rapid decision making and eliminating uncertainty.
  Be decisive – Make three decisions during the week as swiftly as possible. Do not postpone the decision to see if something else comes up, or because you want to explore something a little more. Decide on the basis of the available information (if you want to go to the conference, the meeting, the party, which option you like the best, etc.).
  Resist the urge to reopen – The next time you want to reopen a decision already made, resist. Instead write down three good reasons why your decision was right.